Volume 2

I loved talking to you as you drove in for church. I love how you can just call me even when you are up early and get a chat in. I loved how you you gave great advice about bumping up the trip! Another restful day with you would be paradise.. and a day to sleep in!!! I am so thankful for you babe!

 I have been thankful for our distance recently because of the gift of sobriety.  I feel my mind being sobered to our moment and just a trip back to the States in general. I feel as if I am seeing things with perspective from the Lord. I am living in the moment but also growing in my understanding of what the Lord is doing.  I feel peace in that. I feel the clouds clearing and a crisp winter air to my mind. I pray today that we continue to hear from him on what he is doing in our lives, what he is telling us to do, and strength to obey what he says.  Winter is bringing clarity.    I pray we receive his glorious eternal vision for our lives.

 Oh my final thought tonight is that I want to do the hard work to make it. I want to be brave for you. I want to be strong even when you have tough weeks. I will be better and lighter.  Burdens gotta go and peace of Christ come in. Dwell with us Prince of Peace. Amen Love you so much! We have come so far!

 I end most days on highs with you. Some highs are super easy and its just a crescendo of fun and love that culminates a good phone call or facetime. Other times the highs are after we fight through something and come out on top. I know this has been a tough week. tough because I have emotions and they were weighty. But tonight I felt like I chopped with my machete through jungle of my thoughts to find an oasis of your love.  I felt your heart tonight and felt you bring your heart to the front in the clutch moments of our day. It was like LeBron hitting a game winner.     Thank you for choosing to be with me in this tough week. You could have pulled away but you didn't. You gave you literal all and it was in the midst of your mom's tough week, remembering your father, and our development.  I am so thankful for you... Thank you for bearing with me and bearing with your own heart. You are doing brave ass work. I see it. I am thankful for you. ojos rojos en mis huevos

 I know today is tough and heavy laden. I wish I could be there to lift you up and carry you through.  Even though I didn't know him, I honor your father and his life.   I miss us. I miss us together. I miss our late night fox walks especially.

 I am waiting for something I am not sure will ever come. It is a hard place to live in. But in that place something is being forged in me: faith. I have let you in to significant places of my heart and as each day passes I feel this exposure to elements without security but I am also realizing I don't need this security in a sense. I am becoming the man God made me to be. I am tender and a deep feeler but I am also creating resolve to love well despite any external circumstances. I really want things to work out for us and sometimes I just have to write out where I actually am. I need to boldly reveal where I am emotionally.  So I am a mixture at times but I am filled with great hope for us Michelle. As I reveal to you where I am in process. Is honesty ok on this blog you have no idea about? lol I am just being real as I do I am learning more of what to flush and keep.   I am so thankful for your lean in lately. Its been so amazing. I feel you closer most days and other days I jus

  As each day passes I am learning about you as well as myself. I even love in this picture above how much you are drawn to lions! I think I am learning how to to adjust to our moment and bring compassion and patience to yours. Knowledge in this time is really powerful because its taking me toward the Lord for thankfulness when the wisdom comes down.  It's kinda like listening to this amazing song and as its building you feel locked in and right as the beat drops the wisdom comes in. So in short I am jammin to the tunes of our journey and waiting for the wisdom beat to drop on many of our tracks ha! It seems patience is the name of the game here and I am trying to listen to the Lord's voice and follow at a pace that guards my heart.

 Today I am praying for your work and a job you love! As I pulled up Linked In jobs today and saw over 300+ available in the music industry today I just felt that God has a place for you in this niche. He has the place prepared for you in advance. I really feel like it will be in the intersection of Stanford Ave, Nebraska Ave, Berkeley Ave area in Santa Monica.  Let it be Lord! Also I have really loved starting to practice parts of the course with you like the 5 A's.  I hope we get the notebook soon and can dive in to that a little deeper in to the teachings. I pray that you are growing through it and its healing to you. I just dont want to rush you at all in this and part of me feels as I am rushing you.  I am taking it to the Lord in prayer. Andrew

 I think one of the things I miss most is our walks here. We had many! Mostly because its all we could do but I am thankful for our walks.   The Steps We took steps We stepped in faith We keep walking We step in greater faith Our steps are filled with purpose We feel the warmth of the other next to us as we stride This is a seasonal sojourn as we long for a place to call home So we step with intent We step with confidence, we step with love

  I needed a place to keep my thoughts going... I needed a Volume 2 to our shared journal....so here we are... As I am in my apartment today the UPPERROOM prayer set from Dec 16, 2020 came on and the song that changed alot for me "I love your presence"by Jenn Johnson. I shared with you that when she included the David Gray lyrics it flipped me inside out. She combined the music I loved and incorporated it in to worship.  That song drew me in today and showed me sometimes the Lord will hit my mind and thoughts about you and then I just need to pour out somewhere and eventually I want you to track and see it. I also think Dec 16, 2020 is important as I looked to when this prayer set was. It was around that date that my heart started to turn toward you ina  significant way. In fact God did all the turning and adjusting...I think I just surrendered my fear in it.  I have seen a significant draw toward you when I confess my fear about our moment or aspects of our moment. The Lord